Корпоративни уроци

Corporate lesson 1:
Man enters in the shower, While his wife just finishing up with its, When
the doorbell rang. The woman quickly wrap a towel around you
and running to open. Outside stands a Bob – the neighbor. Before she said a Word,
It offers “I will give you 800$ If you put that towel!”. After thinking for
point, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Seconds later
He handed her 800$ and leave. The woman wraps back and back in
the bathroom.
“Who was?” – asked her husband. “Bob – the neighbor” – She answered.
“Great!”, the man said, “Did he say anything about the $800, He owes me?”
Moral of the story: If in time let its shareholders important information,
pertaining to credit and risk, you could avoid izobličavane.

Corporate lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun to take her to the monastery. In one >point,
She folded the leg, so one leg is ogolil. The father almost
crashed. After having mastered car, He gently made her hand on the leg
(j). “Father, Remember Psalm 129” – She told the nun. The priest
move your hand. But a little later, While changing gears, He again
put your hand on her leg. “Father, Remember Psalm 129” – said
the nun again. “Forgive my physical weakness, sister” – father apologised.
Once arrived at the monastery, the nun's home. The priest
quickly he ran to the Church to look at Psalm 129. The same run: “Go ahead
and looking ahead, up will find prosperity.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your profession, you risk
Miss great opportunities.

Corporate lesson 3:
Commercial agent, an administration clerk and the Manager of the company go
to have lunch together. Along the way they find an antique oil lamp. Rubbed and her
inside a genie appears. “Will fulfill one wish each one of you” –
He says. “First I! First I!” – bounce an administration clerk – “I want to be on
Bahamas, to drive a Jet, no interest in anything”. Poof! And missing.
“Now I! Now I!” – screaming commercial agent – “I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of cocktails and love
of my life”. Poof! And he's gone. “It's your turn” – Gina said on
Manager. “I want those two back of jobs after the end of the
lunch break” – He replied.
Moral of the story: Always let your boss's first word.

Corporate lesson 4:
The Crow sat on the tree all day, without doing anything. The rabbit asked him –
“Can I sit like you and do nothing all day?”.
“Of course, Why not” – replied the Raven. And so, the rabbit sat on the ground and
rested. Get carried away, a Fox appeared, jumped from the bushes and ate it.
Moral of the story: To sit back without doing anything, You must be of high

Corporate lesson 5:
Puâk″t talked to bull. “How I wish I could fly and landed on this tree”
– He drooled – “but I lack the energy to clean off so strongly with wings”.
“Why don't you nibble on my feces” – suggest the bull – “they are highly
energy and food”. Puâk″t is standing over one of its stacks and
not long after he found, that Bull is right – already had energy and managed to reach
the lower branch of the tree. The next day,, After eating some more of
dung, He landed on the top branch.
At last, a few days later, puâk″t proudly show off and raised a ruckus by
top of the tree. Not long after he was spotted by a farmer, who took it with
a shot of your rifle.
Moral of the story: Shitty numbers can bring you to the top, but not to you
help keep there.

Corporate lesson 6:
In Africa every morning the Gazelle wakes up knowing, you have to outrun
the fastest lion, to stay alive. Every morning a lion wakes up knowing, that
must outrun the slowest Gazelle, in order not to die of hunger.
Moral of the story: It doesn't matter if you're a lion or a Gazelle: When the sun comes up,
better to be a, for you to get the others.

Corporate lesson 7:
A man staying in a hotel in Australia. In the room there is a computer and he decided to
send an email to his wife. However, accidentally kills the address and without
He realizes his error sent the letter. At the same time somewhere in Houston,
widow returns from the funeral of her husband. The widow decides to
check e-mail for letters from relatives and acquaintances. After reading
the first letter, she falls backward unconscious. The widow's son in the dot″rčava
room, is your mother on the floor and take a look at the screen, that says: To:
my loving wife Theme: Date arrived: 7-my September, 2005 (d). I know, that
you'd be surprised to hear me. And here have computers already, and you can send
letters of their favorite. I just got here and I'm staying here. See, that
everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. I can't wait to see you!
I hope your trip is also hassle-free, as my.
PostScript: It's hot down here!
Moral of the story: Make sure the, that communication is carried out between
the right sides. Otherwise, the results may not meet the
your expectations.

Corporate lesson 8:
Johnny wanted to fuck a girl in his Office… But she had
friend… One day Johnny stood, go to her and suggest: “Will you
give 1000 dollars if you let me fuck you”. But it's Girl cut:
“THERE IS NO WAY!”. Johnny said: “Will be quick, I'm going to throw the money on the floor, you
going lean, and I'm going to be over before I get up”. She thought about
moment and say, You should consult with your friend… Called
her boyfriend and told him about the case. The boy and respond “Ask him 2000
bucks, put the money very quickly, He will not be able to take off
pants!” So, that girl is agreed and accepted the proposal. Her friend
She waited for half an hour to call. Finally, After 45 minutes of waiting he and
called and asked her what happened. She responded “Throw the bastard
Moral of the story: Always obmislâjte all aspects of a business proposal
before agreeing to fuck.

Corporate lesson 9:
When the body was created, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
Brain said: “I have to be a boss, because all control functions
of the body”. Feet said: “We need to be bosses, because we
carry around brain, where the request”. The hands say: “We must be
bosses, because we do all the work and earn money.” And so then
be the heart, the lung, eyes, and ass until finally asked to be the boss.
All parts started to laugh at the idea. Then the ass is blocked and
refused to work. After a while my eyes started to close, hands
be paralysed, numb feet, heart and lung handicapped
panic, in brain fever. In the end, all, that
the asshole should be the boss, and it passed. All parts are done
its work, While the boss just sat and dumped out the trash
(the shit).
Moral of the story: You don't have to be a brain, to be Chief – pffft
to be.

Corporate lesson 10:
A swallow flew south, но студът я застигнал и премръзнала до смърт,
тя паднала в широко поле. През полето минала крава и се изсрала върху
птичката. Изпражнението стоплило лястовичката, тя се съвзела и радостно
започнала да чуруликаМинаваща наблизо котка чула чуруликането и
следвайки звука, извадила птичката от кравешкото лайно и я изяла.
Бизнес поуки:
1. Не всеки, който те засипва с лайна е твой враг.
2. Не всеки, който те вади от лайната е твой приятел.
3. Когато си затънал в лайна до гуша, недей да чуруликаш много-много.

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